Caius the Bigger

Reposted and backdated for cataloguing purposes!

Prompt: Boostle!

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed the Blue Beetle, as he engaged in a *highly* undignified struggle to pry Sue away from the phone.

He'd probably have done better against an unarmed (if experienced!) civilian if Sue's giggling husband hadn't been wrapped around him, valiantly defending his wife.

"Gag him, honey?" she said, dialing. "Hello, may I speak to the lady of the house?"

Ted and Booster had gone too far this time.

****

Five minutes later, it was too late, and Beetle was curled up in a corner, mourning his reputation. ("What reputation?!" "No sympathy around here!.....*whimper*")

Sue wouldn't tell even Ralph the other side of the conversation. She just grinned.

****

Ten minutes later, Booster Gold entered the room. "BEETLE!!! What did you do THIS TIME?!!"

"It was ALL YOUR FAULT," said Ted, from his corner, where he was now decidedly sulking. "And *you're* the one who married the damn woman in the first place. I suppose it's in ALL the papers?"

"She wants to watch."

"........NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"She'll cut off my allowance!"

"Your problem! Not mine!"

"And tell all the papers." (Beetle paled.) "Also, possibly file for divorce. With no alimony!" (Beetle glowered.)

By this point, even Mary Marvel was in stitches across the room. Beetle broke off to glare at them, too. "Couldn't we discuss this in *private*, at least?"

"Is that a maybe?"

"It's an you've given me as much humiliation as I can take for this YEAR." He stood up and walked toward Booster.

"That sounds like another 'no'. And hey!" as Beetle pulled him toward the door. He followed, however, figuring he might have a *slightly* better chance without the entire Superbuddies team watching.

Beetle hauled them into his room and slammed the door. He sat on the bed and put his face in his hands. "So what are we going to do?"

"Well. It could be just the once and then I would give you half of that week's money?"

"Not. An. Option. I'm not a GODDAMN PROSTITUTE."

"Would you RATHER have me be out on the streets and EVERYONE thinking we're sleeping together?" Booster spread his arms out.

"I'm not sure anyone even *cares*. God, it's not like we're Superman and Batman."

"....they're sleeping together?"

"No! Or, well, not the point!"

"Which is?"

"Never *mind*." He put his face in his hands again. "Point is, I'm NOT sleeping with you in front of your WIFE!"

"What about NOT in front of my wife?"

"What....?! What would THAT solve?!!"

"What would it HURT?" Booster went over and sat on the bed, seductively.

"Point." Ted sighed.

"Besides. Gladys thinks we've had practice *anyway* and if you *still* can't do it--well. YOU can marry me!"

"I can--what?!!" This conversation was WAY ahead of Ted.

"Marry me. Because I'll need someone else. And you have enough money to support us both!"

"....you want to MARRY ME FOR MY MONEY?!!"

"Well. You're also much better looking than Gladys and a MUCH better conversationalist."

"No WONDER you can't get dates."

Booster sighed. Twentieth century courtship etiquette defeating him again... "Well, then." He went on his knees in front of a bemused Ted. "I love you. I have for years. Will you marry me?" He slipped his flight ring on Ted's finger. "Until I can get you a proper one." He smiled hopefully upward.

"Booster, you are..."

"Yes?" Booster asked, somewhat apprehensively.

"....really, remarkably endearing."

"Is that a *yes*?!"

"It's a maybe. We have to DATE first!"

Booster beamed. And hopped up on the bed to kiss his maybe-fiance.